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No Is So Yesterday - Stephen Jones - Sampler (File, MP3)

24.01.2020 Mazusho 9 Comments

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I thought goody, I need a new pair of jeans and we were going shopping tonight. No problem I can wait. Good on almost anything in the store! Into the trash that coupon goes.

Somewhere just north of St Augustine the Emperor glided past the 50k mark. I guess I was wrong the other day when I said there would be miles left to travel on the warranty when we ran out of time. We drove out of Georgia on I, but 36 miles was all we could take. Just after stopping and getting some free OJ at the welcome center, we got off the ugly Interstate and picked up A1A. We then drove the whole way down to New Smyrna Beach following the coastal road.

Sometimes beautiful, sometimes tacky, sometimes crowded and sometimes nearly empty, taking the slow road, if you have the time, is the way to go. It helped that it is off-season which kept the crowds way down. The big trouble for us was that the weather was way off-season. Combined with the MPH mean that the top was up all day and any ventures out to look at the beach and waves was very brief.

Even though I was running right at the speed limit, Johnny Law shadowed me for a couple mile when we drove through Daytona Beach. It was a quick walk over about 50, pieces of treated wood.

Thanks Barry Bonds. While trying to watch my favorite losers, the Red Sox, on ESPN tonight I had the game interrupted 5 times to watch you attempt to hit a home run.

At and then again at , if you get there, maybe, but until then leave the nations airways alone. The contractor is done. He left behind a few little things that need to be taken care of, might be easier for me to go ahead and take care of them, but I might just leave them for his return.

There is a crack in the grout in the corner seam of the stand up shower, that he touched up today with just some success. The one that is most noticeable was not within his control. We bought Price Pfister porcelain cross handled faucets for both showers and one for the bathroom sink in the big bathroom for two reasons, 1 we like the look and 2 they would match our already existing faucet in the small bathroom.

The existing one works in a manner such that you turn both knobs counter-clockwise for on and clockwise for off. We were thrown for a loop when we started to use the new shower in the small bathroom. This set works by turning the cold counter-clockwise for on and the hot clockwise for on. So now we have to learn how to operate 4 separate faucets in three different manners. Just about 5 miles outside the touristy St. Augustine, Florida the Emperor passed by 85, miles. We stopped in for a brief visit and all those ubiquitous trolleys were nearly empty of tourists.

We did take the walk all the way around the perimeter of the fort and that was good enough for us. It is only a few dollars more expensive compared to the Holiday Inn Express outside of Savannah we stayed at last night, but the breakfast will be leaps and bounds better cinnamon bun excepted. We went grocery shopping on Friday afternoon and I bought a small bunch of 4 bananas. Buying bananas always seems to be a chancy proposition, invariably they are either bright green or so ripe they are fit for nothing but an ingredient in banana nut bread.

Friday was my lucky day or so I thought , as the bananas on display were the very definition banana yellow. Saturday morning I went to peel one of the bananas and I knew I was in trouble because the skin was thick and hard to tear.

Ever hopeful, I took a bite, big mistake, it was tough as shoe leather, I spit it out and threw the rest away. By Sunday the peeling process was slightly better and the banana was almost al dente, but I choked it down anyway. No banana this morning and I am hopefully that by tomorrow they will be really ripe.

The only way I can explain it is that these bananas have been genetically altered so that they turn yellow when they really should still be green. Enough already. Yeah what happened was terrible, but more than 17, people died in car wrecks involving alcohol last year. Because the members come from all over the general area we rotate those meetings between restaurants in Aiken, North Augusta and Augusta. We because they had a back room we could use and the food is sort of cheap we elected to return to Mi Rancho for May.

No one thought to look at the calendar to notice the date. Turns out the first Thursday in May is the 5th. May not mean much to most of us Club members, but to Mexicans it is a big deal.

Cinco de Mayo. The place was hopping. And again all that needs doing to make it happen is the detailing of the vehicle and the final financial paperwork. At , having heard nothing, I call back. I tell the clueless receptionist that I am supposed to pick up my new car at She transfers me to someone named John really an he tells me he will have some one call me right back and takes my work number.

Our experience goes downhill from there, culminating in Donna and I driving off with the John Candy character chasing us down shouting my name. The offset O 2 sensor wrench from Harbor Freight came in the mail today. Did it actually come from California in 7 days or did a Postal Service employee walk it the miles from Dillon to my house in the same time frame? Do I mail it back to return it?

Do I make a trip to Augusta to return it? Came via email and I edited it a little : Recently I was checking my k account and thinking about retirement, I saw an article about nursing homes, care facilities and retirement homes and ALL the expenses.

Then it hit me. No nursing home for me! I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. It also will leave enough for laundry, gratuities, and special TV movies. Five dollars worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling. There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick me up if I fake a decent limp. Ride the church bus free on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.

Meanwhile, the cash keeps building up. It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. On the other hand, Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever — you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.

Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there, too. TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience. The Holiday Inn has a night security person and daily room service.

The maid checks to see if you are OK. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. And no worries about visits from family. Most standard rooms have coffee makers, reclining chairs, and satellite TV — all you need to enjoy a cozy afternoon.

After a movie and a good nap, you can check on your children free local phone calls , then take a stroll to the lounge or restaurant where you meet new and exotic people every day.

Many Holiday Inns even feature live entertainment on the weekends. Often they have special offers, too, like the Kids Eat Free program. You can invite your grandkids over after school to have a free dinner with you. Just tell them not to bring more than three friends. Meals are from a REAL menu and there is 24 hour coffee shops, guests services, business room with Fax, copier and the like.

Free towels at the Pool, Jacuzzi, spa and workout facilities. Those of you worried about savings… forget about a horrendous Maintenance bill that looks like what rent use to be. Save your money when it comes to property taxes, school taxes, lawn care, house up-keep as in gardening and landscaping. You can greet guests in the Lobby, reading area, party or function rooms and later take them out to eat without Going Back Out.

Valet parking makes everyone feel special and on vacation. Everyone there greets you with a smile and by name within one week of staying there. You feel welcomed and that you belong to a Team and one of the staff. Pick a Holiday Inn where they allow pets, and your best friend can keep you company as well.

Being natural skeptics, we called a Holiday Inn to check out this idea of my plan. If you have special medical needs, just like if you were home… the nurses can visit you daily at the Holiday Inn, so can the podiatrist, the personal aid and assistant and even the PT therapist.

On an extended stay for months, you can personalize your quarters with your own books, pictures and decorations. Dial ZERO and you have a live voice only a few steps away that can respond to a request or offer assistance. You would think you are in Heaven…. We put it down for a drive in the dark and a quick stop at the store for some breakfast essentials as the fridge is pretty bare before the weekly shopping excursion on Sunday.

The Taurus was a nice car for the big trip but once again it is good to be back in a Miata. From last Friday at around PM until today at around PM we put miles on the rent-a-car and more on the Civic. Now all I have to do is find the time to type in my trip notes for the past week, type in the last 8 days worth of RANTS , and get the photos of the Stone Guards up.

Since Saturday our internet connection has been problematic. Sometimes it was dial-up slow, others it would take 2 attempts to get to a web site and sometimes it seemed to be browser specific. I wanted to blame the cable company, you know take the easy way out, but before I made a fool of my self I decided to try a couple things.

I cleaned out my internet temp files. I cleaned out the hard drives temp files. Both were substantial. I defragged. Tonight I figured I better eliminate the router from the equation, and that turned out to be the problem. When I hooked a Cat 5 cable from modem to PC, things flew with nary a hiccup.

I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas.

I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem. The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with STD from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing. The 11 lords a-leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird things to the 7 swans a-swimming.

The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird shit. On top of all this, Mrs. Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit together and bring you the things you want.

This year, I suggest you get your behinds down to Wal-Mart before everything is gone. The medical insurance plan at work has it where if you have your lab work done by a company called LabOne it costs you nothing out of pocket. There is a local lab Mullins that acts as a drop off point. The forward the samples off to who knows where for LabOne processing.

In case you care it was nothing, but that is not why I writing this. Mullins lab is not in our circle of friends so when Mullins billed my insurance, my insurance said no money for you. Well I figured the doctor messed up he should pay. The contents of the letter told me that I was no longer welcome as a patient any more. He would treat emergencies for the next 10 days, but after that, too bad.

Just tell him where to send my records. The Purple Whale is spending the night at Taylor Hyundai getting his 15, mile beauty treatment. Because we learned our lesson last time call and schedule in advance a couple weeks we have a loaner car from the dealer.

It is a Hyundai Azera with 2, miles on the clock. The styling leaves a lot to be desired, both internally and externally, the front leg room is less than an Elantra we tried, the leather seats are rock hard, uncomfortable and slippery, and it wallows down the road like a mid-seventies GM sedan. But it is no wonder they had to turn this into the Service Dept Loaner, they would never get want they wanted for this wallflower with all the new Fluidic Sculptured, larger and cheaper Sonatas on the lot.

Tucked in amongst the usual junk mail today was a little hand lettered postcard with a smiley face sticker in the upper left hand corner. Oh, its an ad for a Summer Special Sale. Gardens is being offered by the friendly folks at the Southland Cemetery of Aiken.

How thoughtful. I know I am middle aged because I actually thought about it for a minute. Everybody Loves Raymond used to be a must watch on Monday night. This season I just never picked it back up.

Tonight I decided to watch the season ender. It was painful to watch. It seemed pretty much like they used that extra 15 minutes to show commercials. On top of that there was some fat in the actual show that could have been trimmed.

At ASCO , management takes communications seriously. Once every other month the Director of Operations, along with the HR Manager meet with a dozen or so randomly selected hourly employees to answer questions on issues of importance to them. The names of the employees chosen to participate are posted on the bulletin board so anyone who has an issue can bring it to one of the chosen to be presented at the meeting.

Some questions get handed in after the meeting for various reasons, chief among them for anonymity. Sometimes they make amusing reading, but this question handed in anonymously at the November meeting takes the cake:. While I would not overtly accuse anyone within this establishment of prevaricating, there appears to be an effervescence of obfuscating in regards to these interrogative vituperations.

I submit, that the system as of yet is still not functioning as advertised? I maintain that protestations to the contrary as previously disclosed, are controvertible at best. What is it that you want? The person who wrote that also penned a half dozen other questions in a similar vein, those were decipherable, and were answered. At one point management decided to fight fire with fire:. I may merely be a cognitively challenged troglodyte lacking a diurnal existence, but I found myself in somewhat of a quandary within the stockroom.

There was placed a sign, upon what I presume to be the appropriate document table, requesting that any papers, once completed, were to be filed into the yellow bin. Imagine a simpletons chagrin when, after reading these instructions, they are confronted with not one, but 3 yellow bins with a variety of papers within each. Whilst pondering this newfound dilemma, it occurred to said troglodyte to perhaps label the aforementioned bins, apropos to their pertinent documents.

The answer this time — The amber bins interpolated in the depository have been incontrovertibly identified to abrogate any misconception that anyone may have in the morrow. Or I think we changed the bin color. I wish I had better luck with the lottery. I was chosen from literally tens of entrants as the best designed and most informative. Click here soon as it may not mean anything in another week. The noise is also very interesting. Bang, bounce, bounce, BANG as it hits the aluminum gutter then silence for a minute or two and repeat.

Later this month a hard hat will be required as the hickory nuts start falling. I grabbed the ticket and hung a left and immediately noticed an empty spot to the left. I pulled in and we unloaded the luggage. As we walked back towards the center aisle we noticed a slightly better lit spot along the fence near the entrance ticket booths.

So I moved the car and after 4 tries of backing it in, I got it centered and straight enough to not be embarrassing. Made note of our row number 17 and assuming it worked like it does at most airports we rolled our luggage to the center aisle to get to a shuttle bus shelter.

There were no shelters, hmmm. We wandered back and forth a bit looking, but the only thing we saw was a small building that had a shuttle bus parked near it. As we headed that way we noticed a shuttle bus coming our way.

So we continued our way to the building where Donna found a locked door and when she tapped on a window, she was ignored. Returning to the center aisle we saw another shuttle bus. It saw us and promptly turned down a row, drove to the end aisle, drove a ways and came back out in the center aisle past where we were!

About then a young couple showed up in their car and told us they thought we needed to be way down on the other end where there was someone directing cars into parking spots and that is where the buses picked up people. They offered us a ride, but we declined, it was only about as many yards away as what the temperature was, As we walked towards where we were supposed to go, we noticed for the first time the traffic director guy who was all gesticulating like a Bermuda traffic cop, but with a lime green vest, instead of a snappy uniform, and matching lime green gloves, instead of white.

Once on the bus, the driver asked where we parked and I explained our spot. He wrote down 18A on a magenta square of paper.

As we approach the first one drives off, so we go for the closest bus. The driver next to the door shakes his head and points at the other bus. As we head forward, that bus starts to move. As we start to turn round, we realize that it was just pulling up to fill the spot vacated by the previous bus. Sheepishly we turn back around and get on the now first bus. The very cheerful and personable driver asked for our little pink ticket with our row number.

We waited a few minutes and a couple of young guys, then a young husband and wife duo boarded. As they handed her their tickets, she closed the door and off we went.

I guess at this time of night on a Friday, the occupants of three cars is a full load. And because of the time of night, she will stay with each of us until our car starts for safety reasons. The driver cruised the next row over and asked me to hit the door lock button, so we could find the car by the flashing lights.

No lights. On to Plan B. We are looking for a beige Ford pickup truck. We cruise down the row that was written on his ticket. The windows are so darkly tinted.

Back to finding the Purple Whale. We tell our driver that it is backed into a spot next to the incoming ticket booths. Maybe it is the company building. One free 8 x 10, autographed, glossy photo of me to the first person who answers this question correctly.

Name a word in the english language has all 6 vowels in it? The vowels must be in their correct alphabetical order: a-e-i-o-u-y. Constanants can be as many as needed or anywhere in the word. I had just really settled into my desk at work, it was couple minutes after AM, and the desk phone rang. I glanced at the display and saw an SC area code, followed by an entirely unfamiliar 7 digits, so I ignored it.

No message. Just after I had finished my sandwich at lunchtime, my cell phone started vibrating. I picked it up, flipped it over and saw a GA area code, followed by an entirely unfamiliar 7 digits, so I ignored it. A couple seconds later the phone buzzed once, ah, a message. I was just putting the cell phone back down when the desk phone rang. I glanced at the display and saw the same number that had just called the cell phone. One ring and it stopped. No message again.

This afternoon I had the sudden urge to get a bag of chips or something from the gedunk machines in the cafeteria. This unnatural craving must have come from some leftover subliminal suggestion implanted during my watching of Super Bowl commercials.

Even though the 2 machines have a nearly identical mix of products, before choosing an item you have to look over every item in each machine before buying something. Almost everything is a national brand, but there are usually a couple of regional selections. The nutritional information proudly displayed on the front said that a serving of this snack would have 7. Wait a minute, how could this bag of chips have twice the fat and 3 times the calories of a larger 2oz bag of pork rinds which are essentially fat fried in fat?

Yep, 7. And I bet Shopgirl and NY do too. There is this one scene where Meg has been stood up by Tom so she checks her email on AOL to see if he is going to write her to explain his absence, she has no mail. Mother-in-law brought it back for me from a recent trip to the used bookstore.

Fairly interesting so far, but it is obviously written by someone who was in the Navy. Unfortunately, as often as it was so original, it was also so derivative. Still, I did watch the whole thing and at 2 hours, 25 minutes that was a serious commitment of time. As we were verbally ticking off places that we might like to eat at, Donna suggested Panda Express as it was about feet right in front of us.

I said sure. As with any new restaurant in town, the place is packed for the first two months because everyone in the entire city has to eat there as quickly as possible so they can brag to their friends that they have done so.

And true to form, whenever we have been over that way, be it lunch or dinner time, the parking lot has been jammed and the drive-up line practically circled the building. Neither of us had eaten at a Panda Express before, so we wanted to check out what was meant by Chinese Fast Food. The Aiken store had been open since around the first of the year, so it had been awhile, but we were still surprised to find that there was nearly no one in the drive-up line nor in the dining area.

All the dishes are pre-cooked and sit in warming trays behind a display case and an employee dishes out a measured spoonful of the meal of your choosing. Donna selected chicken and green beans, I picked the Peking beef, we got fried rice as our side and we added one egg roll to split. Our food was dished up by a less than enthusiastic employee and the food matched. Everything tasted like 3 day old leftover take-out where all the flavor had been absorbed by the baking soda at the back of the fridge.

It was luke-warm in temperature and the rice was so dry you were lucky to keep more than a dozen grains of it on the fork at a time.

The egg roll was hot enough, probably by random chance, but there was no hot mustard or orange sauce packets anywhere to be found. This probably explains the uncrowdedness of the place on a Saturday at lunchtime.

Everyone else in town had already eaten there, had a similar experience as us and discovered that eating here once was more than enough? Can you tell I did my taxes this weekend? Our big mistake was refinancing our house note last December.

I'm hoping this is just one of those bugs you get once in a blue moon, if so I can live with it. I love the phone and am hoping I don't have any other problems with it. I've just ordered one of these as a contract upgrade from O2. With all of the whingeing going on Should I go with something else?

Hey unknown my sentiments exactly!! Y do people ask questions without looking in the manual 1st, granted a lot of info is not included in it but the questions that keep cropping up i. Kyla, If its faulty the day after you received it and presuming you soke to them about it within the seven day period, they are either trying to push the blame onto someone else or have misunderstood your query and the dates involved.

OnePlus 8 Pro review. Compare Specifications. Post your opinion. Tedder Caramel Pod E [a]. Nobles Logic Bimbo Jones [a]. Retrieved May 13, Retrieved Digital Spy.

Archived from the original on Music SoundScan Charts". Archived from the original PDF on Retrieved 28 February — via Amazon. Retrieved 28 February Awards and nominations Discography Songs Tours. Breathe Out. Elixir Devoted. Stuff by Hilary Duff With Love Haylie Duff. Book Category.

Steve Carell received the Golden Globe Award for Best Actor in a Television Comedy and has received three Emmy nominations for his portrayal of Michael Scott, the pompous and deluded boss in NBC's hit comedy series The Office.

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